Love Charade
by kickerdoodle
Summary: Sasori just wanted to spend the next year and a half relaxing, but now he and his partner, Deidara must go to Konoha under the disguise of a married couple fleeing from the war. What's a redhead to do? SasoXDei R
1. Prolouge

"Wake up, fat-ass." Sasori said as he kicked the blonde, who was currently to busy being wrapped up in various blankets to care what Sasori was saying.

"Bite me, un, wood-boy." Deidara mumbled, as he turned the other way on his futon. Deidara always hated how Sasori insisted on getting up early, and always dragging him along with him. Sasori made a fake pout at the name and grabbed Deidara by the back of his shirt and pulling him around to face him.

" Ya'know Deidara, that really hurt." Sasori said, mustering up all that sickly honey like voice he could manage, and gave a fake pout. Deidara, in turn, just gave a growl, and muttered incoherent curses, and yanked himself away from the redhead.

"Stop with your Crocodile tears, and leave me the hell alone, un." Deidara said as, he moved him and his futon away from Sasori, Which just got a amused laugh from the older of the pair.

"Deidara, Come on, We have a mission." Sasori said, as he grabbed Deidara's's forearm, and dragged him up, Deidara snatched his arm away from him and went over to a drawer. He took out a black shirt and pants, also taking out a small package wrapped in terry-cloth, taking one look at it he threw it with all the strength he could at Sasori's head.

The red-head saw the the bundle fly at him, only at the last minute, and ducked. The bundle hit the wall, and not a second later, you could hear glass shattering, most likely it was whatever was in the bundle breaking.

"Good catch, un" Deidara said, sighing at the large mess Sasori's good reflexes had caused him, If He hadn't move the package would have just shattered on Sasori, and all the pieces would have stuck in him. Unfortunately things didn't go the way he planned.

"Nice throw" Sasori retorted as he eyed the glimmering pieces of glass littering Deidara's room. "What exactly was that?"

"A gift for you." Deidara said, as he sat back down on a chair located by his table. After receiving an odd look from Sasori he shook his head. " It's from Konan, Do you really think I'd get you a gift, un."

"You threw my birthday present at me?!" Sasori yelled, thoroughly surprised at Deidara's new low.

"I just assumed you would have caught it, un" Deidara said, as he stood up and started towards the bathroom. "Unless you want to see me change, I would suggest leaving, un" He said, as he eyed the heap of clothes he held in his hands.

"Yeah, well about that. Deidara, I think you should get briefed on this mission before picking your clothes." Sasori said nervously, he didn't want Deidara getting to angry with him over what he was about to tell him, He had enough problems and he Didn't want to add Deidara's foul temper to that list.

"Then get with the debriefing, un" Deidara said getting impatient at Sasori's weird attitude.

"Were too go to Konoha under the ailias of a married couple fleeing from the war, I'm to go under the name of Hiroki, You as Akari. It's to be along term mission." Sasori said, Actually a little surprised by Deidara's attitude. He was laughing. He was laughing like it was some hilarious joke.

"That's an interesting joke, un. But I mean, I'm not that gullible." Deidara said through his mirth, Just like him not believe a word Sasori told him. Sighing, Sasori took the mission papers singed by Pein and handed them to Deidara.

Deidara's eyes darted across the paper, when he finished with reading he sighed and said;

" I have to wear a dress, un?" Deidara said, not even bothering to put up much of a fight.

"Female attire, It doesn't necessarily have to be a dress." Sasori said.

"Thats good, un."

-----**One hour later**----

" I hate this, un. You said no dresses!" Deidara yelled at his redheaded partner. Who just stifled a laugh and shrugged.

"Thats not a dress, Just a long kimono top." Sasori said gesturing towards Deidara's top. He was wearing a red Kimono top that barely brushed his knees and a pair of tight blue pants. He had agreed to wear his hair down and take out his eye camera.

Sasori was wearing a blue kimono top that stopped at his waist and a pair of baggy Capri's.

Together they looked like a regular village couple fleeing from the war.

" I dont like this, un."

" You're going to have to stop with that speech impediment."

"It's not a Impediment, it's a habit."

" Whatever, just stop it."

" 'Kay, _darling_ " Deidara sneered, voice dripping with sarcasm

" Thanks _sweetie. _"

This was going to be a long Year and a half.

* * *

Yeah, My first story in a while. I really plan on continuing it! 

Please R&R. Crits welcome, Flames will be used to Roast Marshmallows!

K I C K E R D O O D L E


	2. War Sent

"This is the fire country, don't you think it could be, I don't know, Warm?" Deidara complained at the biting wind that blown across the dusty dirt road, pulling up dust into the pairs annoyed faces as they walked. Deidara felt over exposed without his cloak, although his clothes before might not have been the most modest at least they weren't as degrading as wearing a purple kimono top that brushed a little further past his knees. Sasori had also ordered him to were gloves, for the obvious reason.

"Shut up brat. I don't want to be doing this idiotic mission with you either." Sasori ground out. He really disliked his blonde partner, He made stupid mistakes and had a horrible idea about what art really is. He sighed, just the memory of those infuriating squabbles the pair had on a regular basis was enough to put a bad start to his day. Already.

"This is so not going to work Danna, I barely remember what our story is." He said, a sad pathetic tone laced his voice; he was never partial to long-term missions.

"Alright, once again, your name is Akari Naharo, Your twenty-three, Your married to me, Hiroki Naharo, Im twenty four. I'm using a simple genjutsu to make me look human, instead of a puppet, understood? We ran a book-store, but that along with our village, was burned down. Okay?" Sasori said, He grew tired of the repetition with Deidara. It wasn't until after him repeating something a gazillion times, for Deidara to truly comprehend it.

"I don't like this." Deidara whined, he spotted a small rock on the ground and kicked it in front of him, he noticed that it annoyed his Red-haired partner. And with a smug grin he continued this the whole way there.

The two walked in a eerie silence for the remaining mile to Konoha. The Fire capitol was bustling with people with carts and shinobi jumping along roof-tops. The tight knit community, sent a pang of guilt through Deidara, Happy homes had always pissed him off. He made a point of it to destroy the many he came across.

Sasori scanned the busy horizon looking for the Hokage tower, he had expected that a bright red building would stick out more, but sadly it didn't. He didn't like the idea of having to walk around like normal civilians, but if anyone knew they were superior ninjas (or at least in Sasoris case) there cover would be blown and they'd have to leave immediately.

The two worked out the nitty-gritty details of there rouse in hushed conversation as the walked. The two were so absored in there dialogue that hadn't notice a pink-haired koinochi bump right into them, knocking herself down along with Deidara. She pulled herself and dusted off her clothes, and lent a hand to Deidara, who pulled himself up with her aid, but it wasn't like he really needed the help.

"Sorry about that, I wasn't paying much attention." Sakura said, Her voice apologetic. "My names Sakura, Yours?" She asked, her Jade eyes shifted between Sasori and Deidara inquiringly.

"Umm, My names Akari." Deidara said, then waving dismissively in Sasori's general direction he said, " Oh, and this is my husband Hiroki." Sasori growled quitley, but then pulled Deidara close to him with his arm wrapped affectionately around Deidara's hip. Deidara let out a startled yelp at the sudden contact, but for the most part it went unnoticed.

"We seem to be lost." Sasori started." Do you happen to know where the Hokage tower is?"

Her face brightened up at the question, obviously proud to know very well where the tower was. Sakura was always happy to help a Foreign couple in need, although not many foreign couples had ever asked her for help, but there's a first for everything.

Sakura roughly grabbed there wrists and tugged, shouting something about her leading the way, obviously. The two were roughly untangled from each other, but they continued to mouth insults at each other behind her back.

"So what are you going to see lady Tsunade for?" Sakura asked between yanks to make sure the disguised men kept up.

"The Hokage invited us to live here in Konoha while our village is being rebuilt, it was burned down when some Mist ninja attacked." Deidara said quickly, happy to get to answer before Sasori, anything to one-up the older ninja made him very happy.

"That's sad. Well, I think Tsunade told me about that, In fact, I think you two may be staying with me. That, or Ino. But trust me; you don't want to stay with her. Her house is tiny, and she's such a- Oh hello Ino, we were just talking about you!" Sakura said nervously, The girl who had just appeared was carrying with her a bundle of contrasting flowers. She had long blonde hair similar to Deidara's, but still distinctly different. And her clothes were a purple that matched Deidara's top, albeit hers were a lot more revealing. Sasori made a note to tease Deidara about it later.

"Well Board-Brow, who are your friends?" Ino asked, sitting her flowers down on a sales stand next to her. Sakura gave a growl at the insult then released her grip on the two, who noticed painful red marks where her hand was on them, At that moment they both also made a note not to ever get on Sakura's bad side.

"Ah, This is Akari and Hiroki, there village got burned down. I'm betting they will be staying with either you or me." Sakura supplied. Ino eyed the two suspiciously then folding her arms across her chest, obviously in deep thought.

"Nahh, you can have 'em." She said, Deidara and Sasori shot each other confused glances. Neither of them too fond of being treated like a trading card. Sakura shrugged and shooed the blonde woman away, and threw her flowers at her when she had noticed that she had forgot them.

They continued there walk to Hokage tower, this time Sakura had trusted them enough to follow her, so she opted not to have her vice-like grip clutching tight to them. They arrived right in the middle of Sakura explaining to Deidara all the cool shops and salons in the vicinity, He wasn't to upset when she had to cut her incessant jabbering short to go tell the Hokage they had arrived. Deidara was positive that for the next year and a half he'd be playing gal-pals with her and her friends, and that was not something he was looking forward too.

Sasori had been quiet for most of there chat, And now that he and Deidara were alone in a shoddily designed waiting room, minus the shinobi and receptionist drifting about., He had taken to reading a magazine article about the newly invented 'chakra pill' and how it would affect the stock market. Truly fascinating stuff.

Sakura Reemerged from a flight of stairs that probably led upstairs to the Hokage, She stalked over to them, and grabbed there arms, yanking them up and stumbling up the stairs. She directed the Duo through a green door, where a voluptuous woman with blonde hair was swigging a large gulp of premium imported sake while reclining in a chair and her feet sprawled on her desk, knocking around numerous types of papers. It was clearly printed on her face that she drunk, or at least rather buzzed.

"You two, were really happy to have you here. We can set you up with some money to get started here, but you will need to find jobs and not be lazy ass-holes. You will be rooming with Sakura. Got it." She looked at the two imposters with a questioning fierceness about her, they nodded meekly and uttered there thanks at her gracious offer. She waved them away, and sakura pulled them violently out of the room.

She led them out of the building and to her home. Two bedrooms, Two Beds.

Neither Deidara, nor Sasori had any hope for anything other then very violent fights for the next year and a half.

_Oh joy._

**Finally done with another chapter, Cool! Now that's its summer I'm one a writing roll! I appreciate all reviews, and any feedback. Thanks J**


	3. Of Odd Hair

Deidara flopped down carelessly on the medium sized bed, limbs stretched over into each corner. He sighed angrily. Here he was days away from his home, with his crappy 'husband' and no clay, and he dully noted that his hand mouths felt oddly constrained at the gloves pressure. He made sure that after this he would never, ever wear gloves again.

Sasori growled at his 'wife', lucky that Sakura had quoted a meeting she was expected to attend and promptly left. He used his forearm to shove the diminutive blonde aside and to the far recedes of the opposite side of the bed. The action received a well-aimed pillow to the face, and a dignified snort from the blonde.

"Must you act like such a child?" The red-head asked his grinning partner.

"Must you act like there's a stick rammed up your ass?" He retorted smugly.

"Someone has to be serious enough to compensate for the both of us." Sasori stated dryly.

They both sat in an angry undisturbed silence for only a few minutes. But for them it felt like horrid hours spent in miserable boredom. Deidara's teal eyes danced across the welcoming room with its open window that allowed the chilling breeze to beckon his hair along with it. Sasori's face was transfixed on the small market that was visible from there room. He watched old mothers, ninjas and the like prance around unknowing of the espionage going on right under there noses. It was rather pathetic really.

Both of them were startled of their focused reverie by a sharp knock at the heavy oak door to their room. Deidara got up and lethargically trudged to the door and swung it open to reveal a giddy pink haired shinobi bouncing up and down with a bag at hand, namely Sakura.

"Umm Sakura-Chan, you seem… Excited?" Deidara said although it came out as more of a question. Sasori got up from the bed and strode over to where they stood. Sakura turned to face him, her face adorned with an excited smile.

"Hiroki, would you mind if I borrowed Akari-chan for the after-noon?" She asked, her eyes darting between Sasori and Deidara in jittery anticipation.

"I wouldn't mind Sakura-Chan, but for what?" Deidara asked, slightly wary of her answer. He just arrived and he had learned that one of Sakura's obvious personality traits was her unpredictable-ness.

"You just arrived, and neither of you have anything, I needed new clothes, and since Tsunade lent both of you a decent supply of money. I thought you and I could go shopping." Sakura said quickly without taking more then more then a few breaths, both of them stood dazed at her swiftness and talking. Girls were weird, and that's just what they chalked her unique speech ability to be.

"I'd be delighted Sakura-san." Deidara said, a little worried about having to fill his acting role so suddenly, but he was ready for this challenge, mostly so he could prove to Sasori that he wasn't as inept as he thought he was.

"Cool." She said, grabbing his hand as she seemed so drawn to do "I thought it would be a good idea to introduce you to my friends, so Ten-ten and Ino, the girl you met earlier, can all go out shopping." She supplied readily, and pulling Deidara along with her. They both gave Sasori a small wave, Albeit Sakura's was a little more heart-felt then Deidara's.

Sakura with Deidara in tow quickly scaled the stairs of her apartment down to the dusty street below that was busily swarmed with all different shades of people and merchandise. She pulled him along, unaware of his contempt for the situation. She rambled incessantly about all the nice booths that sold good tops and shoes. To Deidara's dislike she never once in all her yammering never said anything that held any interest to him, although he was careful not to let that show and moved the one-sided conversation on with simple nods and grunts of acknowledgement.

They arrived at a small store that seemed to have the magical ability to exude a charming feminine air, that wasn't welcoming but it wasn't too uncomfortable either. Outside resting on the walls stood the same voluptuous blonde girl they had seen before who had so rudely insulted them and had left before anything else was said. Standing next to her was a petite and lithe girl who had round buns on either side of her head, properly channeling the look of honey-buns in her hair. Both of them were dressed in more casual clothes then Deidara had expected they'd wear normally.

"Akari-Chan, These are my friends Ten-ten and Ino." She said pointing to each girl respectively, the blonde was Ino and the girl with the oddly shaped hair was Ten-ten.

Judging by the dark glares that were briefly exchanged between Ino and Sakura, his temporary liaison, they weren't necessarily what he would consider friends, he remembered the catty bitch fights that girls in his class would engage in as a child and he wasn't to happy too have to indulge himself in those memories again.

"Hello Akari, nice too meet you." Ten-ten said warmly, She unlike her other female counterparts, seemed more down to earth and had a more caring persona about her. Deidara concluded that he preferred her already to the other girls.

"We met earlier; I'm Ino, your guide to all the hot guys here." She said girlishly smiling, her navy eyes crinkling slyly. Sakura felt her stomach pain from holding down a snort, and Ten-ten just stood a few feet away, abashed at Ino's tacky behavior. Ino was known for not being modest. About anything.

"That's nice of you Ino, but I'm actually married." Deidara said, he contorting his voice into an unrecognizable feminine brogue. He suddenly wondered why he couldn't be Sasori's sister, why'd he have to be the wife? He would be sure to ask Sasori about that later.

"Married? But you're so young." Ino said, a mix of admiration and confusion swirled obviously across her face.

"Not so young, I'm turning twenty-four rather soon." Deidara said, actually telling the truth for once, his birthday would be arriving in a few months.

"Is he cute?" Ten-ten asked, her voice inquiring but not to harsh as to seem to pry.

"Uh, Well I think so."

"Aw, don't be modest Akari-Chan, Your Hiroki is rather dashing if you ask me." Sakura piped up, a faint red blush dusted Deidara's face at Sakura referring to Sasori as 'his'. If anything Sasori had always made it very clear that he was in charge.

"If you say so." Deidara muttered under his breath.

"Come on, the store is going to be closed by the time you two get done interrogating Akari-Chan." Ten-ten interjected loudly, temporally ceasing conversation.

"Ten-ten! You asked her! You suddenly turn this whole thing on us?" Sakura replied uneasily, but her voice was obviously laced with a hint of angriness. Ino too seemed to be annoyed by her oddly haired friend.

"Whatever. Lets go." Ten-ten replied curtly, spun on her heel and disappeared into the store. Ino followed and Sakura hung back too walk with Deidara.

I swear." Sakura muttered quietly enough so only Deidara could hear. "Ten-ten has been acting like this for awhile, I have no clue why. She can be so bitchy sometimes." She turned to look Deidara in the face. "I hope you can forget about this and have fun shopping with us."

"Of course." Deidara said his voice cracking slightly. A few things he knew about girls, and that was 'wherever a girl goes, Drama is sure to follow'. He was glad this still held up here.

Deidara walked by Sakura into the store. His eyes didn't know where to look. The shelves were adorned with multicolored bottles of perfume that reflected every bead of light onto the wall in a splendor of colors. There was racks of shoes and purses with tassels and ribbons that seemed to glitter. But what seemed to take up most the store was the aisles of clothes neatly folded on the wooden carts that had been painted a deep pink to match the color scheme for the rest of the store. The whole store seemed to depress him as much as the outside, but he still managed to force the same forced smile back on too his face.

"What do you think Akari?" It was Ten-ten who asked.

"I think its wonderful, there was nothing like this where I lived before."

"Well hurry up then. There's clothes to buy." Ino yelled back to him as she was already rummaging through a pile of clothes that was obviously too small for her. Deidara briefly wondered if she didn't know or was just trying to make herself feel good. He decided he wouldn't mention it.

He walked over to a rack full of baggy shirts that had imported beads lining the shirts edges. He recalled faintly what Sasori had told him on the way to Konoha. 'Because you're not a girl, and there is an extreme lack of cleavage, try sticking to baggy clothes. Do you think you can handle that?' Sasori had chided him more then once to remember. And he did, Deidara wondered absentmindedly if Sasori would be proud. He didn't really think so.

He pulled up a shirt from the rack and in his mind he briefly played with size conversions, he'd always been used to buying clothes in smaller men's sizes and wondered if a men's small would be an extra small in a woman's size.

Grabbing up a shirt and a drifting over to the other racks he soon found that his once empty arms had been filled quite generously. He sighed and drifted over to the pants section were he snatched up four pairs of navy blue baggy Capri's that were dangerously close to be being black. They were the right amount of baggy and tight to keep him comfortable and to keep from looking like a man.

Lastly he found the shoes, He felt himself drift close to the basic ninja shoes, but he also had been told that they were supposed to be pretending that they had no former ninja training. He sadly opted to choose a pair of gold flats that a salesperson had told him he'd look marvelous in, but he mainly got them to get her to shut up.

The girls he was with all met up at the sales counter where a clerk had rang them all separate. Ino had bought a months worth of rent of clothes, her face gleeful at her purchases. Ten-ten with a few pairs of Ninja shoes that all seemed to be exactly the same from where Deidara was standing. Sakura had a few bags and tops that Deidara had passed while he meandered through the store. The lady rang him up while the girls were ogling his clothes, Spewing out compliments about his such and such shirt was so his color.

When they had all left the store night had fallen over Konoha, and lampposts cast an orange hue onto the street. Ten-ten and Ino departed in the opposite way of Sakura And Deidara. They occupied the silence with questions about Deidara's old life. Sakura inquired about the bookshop he and Hiroki owned, and all their friends back home. She bravely asked about her and Sasori. How did they meet? Was he romantic? Did they plan on having children? Deidara surprised himself on the vivid answers he replied with, He would make sure to tell Sasori what he had told Sakura so there wouldn't be any confusion.

They arrived at Sakura's apartment building and trudged up the stairs with there bags, she brought out a gold key, unlocked the door and shooed Deidara in before her.

Deidara bid Sakura a good-night as he slunk down the hall and to He and Sasori's shared room.

There was Sasori, slumbering peacefully on the far right edge of the bed. Despite common belief of other people who knew what Sasori was, He still needed to eat and sleep. Just like anyone else.

Deidara pulled off his shoes and socks and clambered up onto the bead and under the covers; he steadied himself to stay on the far left side, as far as possible from Sasori.

He soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

Disclaimer- I Do not own Naruto or any of the characters, I just own any OC's I may come up with.

Comments always fuel my update time, so if you liked it and you want a new chapter then review, okay?

Sorry, this chapter had to be made. You needed to see how Deidara relates with other people. Next chapter it's probably Sasori's turn, he has it easy though because he doesn't have to pretend to be a girl.

Until next time, I bid you adieu!


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